The thing about David is, as far as historians can tell, he didn’t even have an Instagram. He was but a poor shepherd boy who found himself in a daunting battle against the giant Goliath. It’s doubtful Nakisa Bidarian would’ve ever backed such an unremarkable bumpkin even after the upset, but somehow Jake Paul saw enough of David in himself to turn decadent Miami into the Elah Valley.
Anthony Joshua didn’t exactly want to play the role of Goliath on Friday night, either. People forget, Goliath stood 9-foot-9 flat-footed, which is one of the reasons he was so heavily favored over the shepherd kid. If anything, Joshua half-cherished his opponent Paul for kicking him a winning lotto ticket for the biggest payday of his life. The only thing he needed to do was not screw things up. To go in there and whip Jake Paul like a heavyweight champion who — as Netflix play-by-play man Mauro Ranallo put it — “hits harder than a diss track.”
Advertisement
It took a bit, but in the end, that’s what happened. A sixth-round mercy kill in the corner, while Paul was leaning his battered frame against the buckles. Joshua shot a jab in there and the moment Paul’s hands dropped to instinctively preserve his midsection, the right hand came clean over the top to uphold its reputation. The power connected flush on Paul’s jawline, and Paul dropped where he stood. Forever the showman, Paul let his mouth drop wide open as if to dramatize the shock at what hit him as he collected himself on the canvas. As Joshua glanced over his shoulder, it could be said that he literally looked his gift horse right in the mouth.
What he saw appeared very much like a broken jaw.
It was supposed to feel good, wasn’t it? Seeing Paul get knocked out?
Advertisement
As we speculated endlessly on the “Why, Jake Paul?” questions, one of the reasons to tune in Friday was to see him get knocked out. Payback for the battery of 58-year-old Mike Tyson we never asked for, yes, but honestly for the whole running heist. He’s boxing’s great nuisance, the one who came in and rearranged the furniture that purists had so carefully placed to their liking. The dude who woke up and did roadwork at 6 a.m. only after slipping into silk pajamas, just to screw with boxing’s great parable. The obnoxious vortex who has come to mean business for those who associate with him.
Paul doesn’t generate belief so much as he defies it. We needed to see him get flattened.
Or did we? Maybe there’s never been a need to see any of it. If this was all a lark, shouldn’t it be fun? After a Jake Paul fight, the last word anybody uses is “fun.” If anything, this time there was a lot of the “I give him credit for getting in there!” talk, as well as “big respect to Jake Paul for that show of heart.”
Fair enough. Not an easy thing to go from an appointment against 5-foot-5 Gervonta Davis to 6-foot-6 Anthony Joshua, and Paul did last into the sixth round. Far longer than people expected. He took some hard shots, and he delivered a couple as well. It was a show of heart, but it was also a show of business savvy. Of the 10,000 fighters across MMA and boxing, all of them would take an eight-figure payday to fight Anthony Joshua. All of them, except maybe the hard-to-deal-with Francis Ngannou, would do the same to fight Jake Paul.
Advertisement
More from Uncrowned
What Paul has been is a lucrative detour for every fighter who’s ever went against him. He didn’t come in the front door, as Ranallo also stated, “he created his own entrance.” Uninvited. Bombastic. More than a little entitled. As ubiquitous as subway graffiti in the 1980s, and just as aesthetically pleasing. He walked out in his Hulkamania get-up, the screaming brat of our times, as 6ix9ine put down the appropriate soundtrack. He was the reason for the free Friday night fight on Netflix. He was the reason that Netflix assembled a chandelier cast of characters, all of whom struggled in their own way to make sense of what it was they were watching. What does any of it mean?
Curiosity once followed Geraldo Rivera down to Al Capone’s tombs. When people realized they were empty, well, you know. That was that.
Advertisement
Somewhere last night, perhaps around the fifth or sixth double-leg takedown attempt by Paul, the make-up began to rub off and the grotesque thing could be seen slithering underneath. For the first few rounds, they weren’t even fighting. Joshua was being condemned on social media for slow-rolling Paul, for taking his time. People were saying he didn’t care for boxing, that he should retire. That he was a disgrace. These are the costs of a Paul fight. You can’t win even if you win. Either you beat him quickly and easily, or you’re complicit in the unnamed something that annoys everyone.
In the end, that familiar feeling that accompanies all Jake Paul fights settled in.
Empty.
Anyway, at least the chorus for “the fix” never quite swelled. Maybe it was because Paul threatened to sue anybody who came up with that lazy narrative before the first punches were thrown, but this time people were torn as to what they were watching. Many saw a fiasco. Some saw a show of courage. Some had seen enough.
Advertisement
Yet, have we seen enough?
Paul says he wants to take some time away and come back to fight at his natural weight, to fight at cruiserweight. Back to the normal track, if such a track exists for him. He loves the game of boxing. When he was asked about silver linings, he said it’s all good, “I’ve already won at life.” No denying that, but not exactly the greatest feel-good story to ever hijack the world of boxing.
Jake Paul is a lot of things, but David he isn’t.
